cast
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Casper Van Dien
Dallas
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Natasha Gregson Wagner
Nico
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Rod Steiger
Dr. Frederick Van Helsing
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Kim Cattrall
Ulrike
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Natasha Lyonne
Rachel
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Craig Ferguson
Richard
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Natalya Andreychenko
Panthia
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Robert Pastorelli
The Count
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Gabriel Casseus
Time Bomb
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Victor Togunde
Soda Pop
- Jason Ross-Azikiwe Pimp
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Flex Alexander
Trigger
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Udo Kier
Vincent
- Cedrick Terrell Li'l Monster
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Boris Lee Krutonog
Concierge
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Marco Hofschneider
Hans
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Conchata Ferrell
Wanda, Nico's Mother
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Brent Briscoe
George, Nico's Stepfather
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John Fleck
Trick
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Richard Elfman
Cop with Doughnut
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Michelle Csitos
Ulrike Monster Vampire
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Elizabeth Sampson
Frida Van Helsing
- Elliott James Lead Singer, Vampire Band
- Roberta Hanley Saleslady
- Louis Elfman Paint Huffer
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Robert Peters
Cop #1
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Rick Cramer
Cop #2
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John Sencio
Alan
- Ellia Thompson The Count's Girlfriend
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Peter Lucas
The Count's Henchman
- Stephen Porter Harald
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Francesca Lombardo
Dead Body on Couch
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Brad Joseph Dubin
Paint Huffer