cast
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Mark Wahlberg
John Bennett
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Mila Kunis
Lori Collins
-
Seth MacFarlane
Ted (voice)
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Joel McHale
Rex
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Giovanni Ribisi
Donny
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Patrick Warburton
Guy
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Matt Walsh
Thomas
-
Jessica Barth
Tami-Lynn
-
Aedin Mincks
Robert
-
Bill Smitrovich
Frank
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Patrick Stewart
Narrator (voice)
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Norah Jones
Norah Jones
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Sam J. Jones
Sam Jones
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Tom Skerritt
Tom Skerritt
- Bretton Manley Young John
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Ralph Garman
John's Dad
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Alex Borstein
John's Mom
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John Viener
Alix
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Laura Vandervoort
Tanya
-
Robert Wu
Asian Man "Ming"
-
Ginger Gonzaga
Gina
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Jessica Stroup
Tracy
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Melissa Ordway
Michelle
- Max Harris Greenbaum Kid
- Zane Cowans Kid #1 / Young Ted's Voice
- T.J. Hourigan Kid #2
- Owen Clarke Kid #3
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Kristina Ellery
Heavenly
- Katelyn Lorren Cherene
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Chanty Sok
Angelique
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Sarah Fischer
Sauvignon Blanc
- Cassie Djerf Waitress
- Joe Siriani Guy at Table #1
- Pat Shea Guy at Table #2
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Josh Duvendeck
Guy #1
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Chris Cox
Guy #2
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Henry Penzi
Partygoer (Ted's Buddy)
- Tania Cabrera Girl at Party
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Colton Shires
Teenage John
- Viera Andrea Moya Plymouth PR Worker
- Heajee Kim Club Girl
- Lydia Hannibal Ellen
- Shawn Thornton Crazy Guy
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Eric Weinstein
Stagehand
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Danny Smith
Waiter
- Mike Nikitas Newscaster
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Robin Hamilton
Female Newscaster
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Mike Henry
Southern Newscaster
- Johnny Lee Davenport Husband
-
Chris Everett
Wife
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Tara Strong
Bellybutton (voice) (uncredited)
-
Ted Danson
Ted Danson (uncredited)
-
Ryan Reynolds
Jared (uncredited)
-
Olivia Jordan
Party Guest (uncredited)
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Alexandra Creteau
Club Patron (uncredited)
- Emmalyn Anderson Concert Attendee (uncredited)
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John Franchi
Tourist / Pedestrian (uncredited)