cast
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'Weird Al' Yankovic
George Newman
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Kevin McCarthy
R.J. Fletcher
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Michael Richards
Stanley Spadowski
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David Bowe
Bob
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Stanley Brock
Harvey Bilchik
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Anthony Geary
Philo
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Trinidad Silva
Raul Hernandez
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Gedde Watanabe
Kuni
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Billy Barty
Noodles MacIntosh
- John Paragon Richard Fletcher
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Fran Drescher
Pamela Finklestein
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Sue Ane Langdon
Esther Bilchik
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David Proval
Head Thug
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Grant James
Killer Thug
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Victoria Jackson
Teri
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Emo Philips
Joe Earley
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Jay Levey
Gandhi
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Lou B. Washington
Cameraman
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Vance Colvig
Bum
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Nik Hagler
FCC Man
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Robert K. Weiss
Bartender
- Eldon G. Hallum Spatula Husband
- Sherry Engstrom Spatula Wife
- Sara Allen Spatula Neighbor
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Bob Hungerford
Sy Greenblum
- John Cadenhead Crazy Ernie
- Francis M. Carlson Blind Man
- Ivan Green Earl Ramsey
- Adam Maras Joel Miller
- Travis Knight Billy
- Joseph Witt Little Weasel
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Tony Frank
Teri's Father
- Billie Lee Thrash Teri's Mother
- Barry Friedman Fletcher Cronie #1
- Kevin Roden Fletcher Cronie #2
- Lisa R. Stefanic Phyllis Weaver
- Nancy Johnson Big Edna
- Debbie Mathieu Betty
- Wilma Jeanne Cummins Little Old Lady
- Cliff Stephens Animal Deliveyman
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Jim West
Band: Guitar
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Steve Jay
Band: Bass Guitar
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Jon Schwartz
Band: Drums
- Kim Bullard Band: Keyboards
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Barry Hansen
Whipped Cream Eater
- Bob Maras Thug #3
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George Fisher
Thug #4
- Tony Salome Guide #1
- Joe Restivo Guide #2
- Charles Marsh Yodeler
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Belinda Bauer
Mud Wrestler
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Patrick Thomas O'Brien
Satan
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Roger Callard
Conan the Librarian
- Robert Frank Timid Man
- Jeff Maynard Boy with Books
- M.G. Kelly Promo Announcer (voice)
- Jay Gardner Promo Announcer (voice)
- John Harlan Promo Announcer (voice)
- Jim Rose Promo Announcer (voice)
- Brian Routh Harry Kipper
- Martin von Haselberg Harry Kipper