cast
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Susan Tolsky
Bernadette / Bernadette Van Gelder
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Wayland Flowers
Madame
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Judy Landers
Sarah Joy
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Johnny Haymer
Pinkerton
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Corey Feldman
Buzzy
- Ty Henderson Barney Wolfe
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Edie McClurg
Solaria
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Don Sparks
Misterhonest / Mister Honest / Misterthonest
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John Moschitta Jr.
Larry Lunch
- Chandler Garrison R. Ray Randall
- Alan Feiman Grouch Marx (as Alan Feiman) / Baffling Boffo Brother #1 / Babbling Boffo Brother #1
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William Bogert
Dwayne Kellogg
- Raymond Lynch Lance Lane / Dr. Carl Treadwell
- Dale Gonyea Self / The Piano Sexual
- Bonnie Urseth Patty Sue
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Joyce Brothers
Self
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Parley Baer
Huntington Phelps
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Earl Boen
Judge Blake
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Mike Norris
Babbling Boffo Brother #2
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Lynne Marie Stewart
Sonoko / Lupe de Vega
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Anita Dangler
Martha McCaslin
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Richmond Shepard
Harpo Marx
- Ron Stevens Rope on a stick commercial / Ron Stevens
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Charles Pierce
Cousin Charlie
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Charles Nelson Reilly
Self
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Jay Leno
Self
- Joan Leizman The Cooking Couple
- David Cooper David Carefulnow
- A.J. Freeman Earl Mac Donald
- Alvin Hammer Benny Zane
- Jill Wagner-Porter Magician's Assistant
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Rod McCary
Eddie Bob Tate
- Peggy Gilbert The Dixie Belles
- Alex Gonzalez Self
- Aaron Scott Bernard Burgler #1
- James J. Collins Burgler #2
- Starr Hester Laughing Lady
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Debbie Reynolds
Self
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Marty Zagon
Blake de Carlo
- Monty Goodson Pilot
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Barbara Cason
Lynn La Vecque
- Del Hinkley Dr. Kerwin
- Barry Bartle Senator Wallings
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Anthony Newley
Self
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E.J. Peaker
Carla St. James
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Sonny Melendrez
Lusty Beast Spokesman
- Monica Ganas Cora Flarp
- Kenny Sacha Bette Midler
- Abel Franco Bartender
- Glenn Super Bullhorn Comic
- John Paragon Holistic Doctor
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Fred Willard
Self
- David Workman Self
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Mark Lonow
Walter Malice
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Foster Brooks
Self
- Brian Seff The Comic
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Betty White
Self
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Ronnie Schell
Federino Felluci
- Dick Hardwick Self
- Doug Mattocks Self
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Tab Hunter
Self
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Archie Hahn
Roger
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Ruth Gillette
Mrs. Stewart, III
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Mickey Jones
Pinhead Flanigan
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DeeDee Rescher
Fatima
- Ion Teodorescu Dr. Krutch
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Ilene Graff
Gloria Beecham Meade
- Robert Hanley Tony Tessier
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Paul Barselou
Harvey Blain
- Toni Tennille Self
- Bobbi Tremaine Self
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Phyllis Diller
Self
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Sandy Helberg
Shecky Jack
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Natalie Core
Claudia Bright
- David Rosenburg Self
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Eva Gabor
Self
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John Sanderford
Tweed Bergman
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George McDaniel
Barnett Antell VI
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Scanlon Gail
Morris the Magnificent
- Cathy Cahn Maude Passwater
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Richard Kuss
Sven
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Robert Lussier
Hanover Cheeky
- Lindsey Fields Francine Sinkpot
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Paul Reubens
Pee Wee Herman
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Tony Longo
Lou
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Frankie Avalon
Self
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Colby Chester
Sgt. Lamar Hardley
- James Metropole The Kissing Bandit
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William Shatner
Self
- James Weston Roy Boy McCullough
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Julie Payne
Micheline Juliette
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Ken Olfson
Bernie of Culver City
- Michael Marlin Self
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George Gobel
Self
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John Schneider
Self
- Mari Kornhauser Tripod Man
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Ruta Lee
Kaye Jacobs
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Dick Shawn
Self
- Robbie Haymer Walter Pinkerton Jr.
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Marty Allen
Self
- Lissa Negrin Cindy
- Hillary Carlip Mindy
- Cheril Vendetti Self
- Sarah Rawls Self
- John Del Regno Gordo Gordon
- Nancy Parker Self
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Rip Taylor
Self
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Brooke Bundy
Arlene Hoffman
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Andi Matheny
Beaver Advocate
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Arsenio Hall
Self
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Julian Burton
Dr. Murray Mesmer
- Ellis Levinson Mimic-O-Matic Spokesman
- Fred Travalena Self
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Fern Fitzgerald
Rhoda Royale
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Scatman Crothers
Self
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Vernon Weddle
Aldo Brutus
- Joan Stocking The Little Girl
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Michael Lee Gogin
Eppis
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Anthony Russell
Self
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Vito Scotti
Inspector Putzeau
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Hector Elias
Roland Esperanza
- Julie Budd Self
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Jerry Reed
Self
- Bob Kelton Self
- Bob McClurg Mr. DiPronto
- Matthew Tobin Mr. Litt
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Victoria Carroll
Mrs. DiPronto
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Alice Ghostley
Self
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Donna Ponterotto
Kid Kelly
- Jimmy Aleck Self
- Peter Pit Amazing Leopold
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John Reilly
Max St. James
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Stuart Nisbet
John Gilhooley
- Gary Allen Stanton Gore
- Jennifer Richards Inga
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Ed Williams
Professor
- Geoff Edwards Biff Willis