cast
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Brooke Shields
Susan Keane
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Nestor Carbonell
Luis Rivera
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Kathy Griffin
Vicki Groener
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Barbara Barrie
Helen 'Nana' Keane
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Judd Nelson
Jack Richmond
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David Strickland
Todd Stities
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Andrea Bendewald
Maddy Piper
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Sherri Shepherd
Miranda Charles / Roni
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Currie Graham
Nate Knaborski
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Eric Idle
Ian Maxtone-Graham
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Rob Estes
Oliver
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Albie Selznick
Ben Rubenstein
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Bill Stevenson
Pete Fontaine
- Marty Nedboy Marty / The Devil / Leo / Billy / Mr. Polikoff / Benny
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Karen Maruyama
Mrs. Fong
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Fred Stoller
Hank
- John P. Griffin Gus / Mel / Ernie
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Anthony Starke
Kip Richmond
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Kyle T. Heffner
Jerry
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Lisa Howard
Margo Richmond
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Bryan Clark
Mr. Richmond
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Swoosie Kurtz
Liz Miller Keane
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Ray Baker
Bill Keane
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Brett Cullen
Adam
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Paul Cassell
Philip / Flip
- Nicole Nagel Kate
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Tom Smothers
Attica
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Susan Ruttan
Nectarine Stites
- Howard George Richard / Damon / Bucky
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Charlie Brill
Leon
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Joan Rivers
Edie
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Lane Napper
Lane / Richard
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Kathy Ireland
Terri
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Khalil Kain
Dwight
- Claudette Sutherland Mrs. Richmond
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Mr. T
Mr. T / Arnie
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Michael Kagan
Officer Kellogg
- Devlin Mann Devlin
- Kim Sharpe Kim
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Nan Martin
Grandma Richmond
- Luke Tarsitano Kyle
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Tiffany Taubman
Maggie
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D. Elliot Woods
Fred / Lenny
- Benny S. Cannon Phillip / Geoffrey
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Brian McNamara
Cooper Elliott
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Frankie J. Allison
Sal
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Chris Parnell
Phil / Waiter
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Wendy Worthington
Officer Donna
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Frederique van der Wal
Frederique
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Charles C. Stevenson Jr.
Reverend Duncan / Reverend Merriman
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Steven Pierce
Francis / Gordon
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David Newsom
Kenny 'The Hammer' Fleming
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Christopher Rich
Rep. Francis Shafer
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Eric Bruskotter
Bob
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Kimberly Quinn
Julie
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Alfred Dennis
Rabbi Stern
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Craig Thomas
Rick the Waiter
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Allen Lulu
Martin
- William Akey Kurt the Waiter
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Hope Allen
Randy
- Michael Halpin Ed the Band Leader
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Pat Crawford Brown
Freida / Mildred
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Bill Ferrell
Duke / George
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Christina Moore
Elizabeth / Heather
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Stephanie Venditto
Jessica / Ella
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Cheryl Hines
Debbie / Marla
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Rick Springfield
Zach Hayword
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Hulk Hogan
Hollywood Hogan
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Robert Curtis Brown
Lester Pearson
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David Rasche
Evan
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Meagen Fay
Wendy
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Howard S. Miller
James
- John F. O'Donohue Dirk
- Ethan Wayne Dr. Byron Glaser
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Lee Weaver
Clyde
- Ryan Fitzgerald Jeff
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Tony Bennett
Tony Bennett
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Vernee Watson
Karen
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Tom Poston
Mr. Vance
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Steven Williams
Carl
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Patrick Cranshaw
Kyle
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Marjean Holden
Wendy
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Fred Applegate
Caruso
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Stuart Pankin
Andy Bevins
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Gregory Jbara
Wallace
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Justina Vail Evans
Gina
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John Cothran
O'Rourke
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Angelica Bridges
Anya
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Caroline McWilliams
Liz Keane
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Ed McMahon
Ed McMahon
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Donald Trump
Donald Trump
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Kathleen McClellan
Mia
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Bob Dole
Senator Bob Dole
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Karri Turner
Marcy
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Gregory White
Mr. Barnes
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Kurt Fuller
Bill Keane
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Robert Neary
John
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Craig Branham
Paul
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Michael Jeter
Lawrence Rosewood
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Denise Gentile
Brenda
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Philippe Bergeron
Claude
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Owen McKibbin
Jason
- Harris Fishman Rob
- Jennifer Williams Audrey
- Christopher Alessi Geoffrey the Waiter
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Hal Williams
Jim
- Victor Wilson Craig
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Curtis Armstrong
Harvey
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Robert Machray
Ernie
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Aloma Wright
Rachel
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Barry Cutler
Fred
- Evonne Kezios Sheila
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Mary-Pat Green
Brenda
- Alicia Anne Barbara
- Greta Fadness Kim
- Gayle Kellon Christensen Jill
- Linda Li Basketball Player
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Dana Lee
Chan
- Pearl Huang Mrs. Chan
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Betty White
Midge Haber
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Peg Phillips
Judge Cameron
-
Caroline Williams
Ms. Turner
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Debbie James
Lacy
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Cal Gibson
George
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David Lee Smith
Dirk
- Dean Robinson Eddie
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Beulah Quo
Dr. Ni
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Rodney Dangerfield
Artie
- Joseph Chapman Dr. Ethan Sanders
- Tom Bailey John
- Helaine Lembeck Sandra
- Melissa Samuels Tracy
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Jim Wise
Mike
- Todd Royal Clark
- Jimmy Scaf Sam
- Sally Shore Sally
- Troy Spurlin Troy
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David Chokachi
Elliot
- Malcolm Mazer Paul
- Joseph Tello Frankie
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Krikor Satamian
Mr. Papazian
- Joe Hogan Peter the Bar Patron
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Rosie O'Donnell
Rosie O'Donnell
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Dana Gould
Mike
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Ashley Laurence
Pam
- Joseph Cipriano Guard
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Dee Freeman
Audience Member
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John Hostetter
Stage Manager
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Ali Larter
Maddie
- Deirdre O'Neil Nancy
- Robyn Donny Wendy
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Frances Bay
Mrs. Tidgely
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Bill Erwin
Mr. Tidgely
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Preston Maybank
McGuire
- Bonnie Burroughs Victoria
- Carlos Del Olmo Rosario
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Robert Stack
Robert Stack
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Sydney Bennett
Beth
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Adam Lieberman
Jimmy the Bartender
- Jennifer Joyce Lana
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Eddie Garcia
Enrique
-
Lori Loughlin
Paula
-
Matthew Mahaney
Lars the Bartender
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Lynne Marie Stewart
Marion
- Mary Deno Greta
-
Ben Reed
Ranger Dave Stevens
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Melanie Good
Sam
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Gino Conforti
Apartment Manager
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Bruno Campos
Carlos Rivera
-
Megan Blake
Cindy
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David Jahn
Paul
- Mark Murphy Marc
- Mark Daniel Cade Waiter
- Willie Brown Mayor Willie Brown
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John McEnroe
John McEnroe
- Amy Smallman Amy the Waitress
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Mark Nelson
Paul
-
Shirley Prestia
Shirley
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Ben Marley
Jim
- Marci Brickhouse Melissa
- Michael Rapposelli Ed
- Shawn Hoffman Coco
- Jason D. Keller Stu
- Shane Keller Lou
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Julia Rose
Lena the Pretty Woman
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Juanita Jennings
Ms. Hollins
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Peter Paige
Neil Pomerantz
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Patience Cleveland
Mrs. Lancaster
- Ernie Lee Banks Joe
- Terrence Beasor Minister Bogden
- Stewart Rose Mitch
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Ross Malinger
Doug Naughton Jr.
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Mary Pat Gleason
Edna
- Heather Lauren Olson Erica
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Ben Diskin
Willie
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Marcy Goldman
Connie
- Yavone Evans Nina
- Adam Borstein Elliott
- Alfonso De Rose Gino
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Michael McLafferty
Ethan Clark
- Andonia Katsaros Emma
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Tim Conway
Mickey
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Rose Marie
Joy
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Harvey Korman
Jimmy
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Amanda Carlin
Adele
- Jayson Creek Malcolm
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Michael Worth
Underwear Model
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David Atkinson
Dave
- Leonard Moss Chuck
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Dane Cook
Elliot
- Rachele Baker Jamie
- Brent Ray Jones Choir Director
- Lana Lane Vera
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Phil Leeds
Chen
- Steven Wollenberg Deejay (voice)
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Tony Curtis
Peter DiCaprio
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Greg Baker
Michael
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Mary Manofsky
Michelle
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Alec Murdock
Honest Abe
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Gregory Itzin
Bob
- Barry Kramer Zvi
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Haskell V. Anderson III
Immigration Officer
- Shawn Colvin Shawn Colvin
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Tim Lounibos
Officer Sakamoto
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Brian Palermo
Larry the Paramedic
- Chausey Lebron Waitress
- Vern Urich Vern
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Granville Van Dusen
Alan Piper
- Mark Ankeny Doc Simon
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Patricia Place
Mrs. Feingold
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Marshall Manesh
Bruzzi
- Sophia Leikin Lindsay
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Christopher Stapleton
Officer Hardwick
- Scott Fowler Charlie
- Ken S. Polk Larry the Waiter
- Michael Haywood Norris Ernie the Bartender
- Oliver Muirhead Dr. Hale
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Brian George
Mr. Verma
- Fred Hunting Richard
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Romy Rosemont
Lynnette
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Rick Cramer
Ulf
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Frank Novak
Lenny
- Maria O'Brien Maria
- Charlie Dell Wade
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Valorie Armstrong
Mrs. Madison
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Steven Ford
Skip
- Cindy Matta Cindy
- Claire Malis Mrs. Shafer
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Russ Fega
Artie
- Marta Rubenstein Marta
- Melissa Chan Roberta
- James Henriksen Gerald
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Jeanette Miller
Susan
- Xavier J. Nathan Claude
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Nellie Sciutto
Joyce
-
Parry Shen
Robert
- Bobby Brewer Teddy
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Stephen Tobolowsky
Dr. Gerken
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Dina Spybey-Waters
Gina
- Kathleen Farrell Cecelia
- Michelle Crispin Karen
- J.D. Lewis Mac the Bartender
- Charity Nicole James Kelli
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Christopher Naoki Lee
Willie
- L.A. Rothman Carla
- Jesse Stock Drew
- Christopher Burkott Chaz
-
Lynsey Bartilson
Dina
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Joyce Brothers
Dr. Joyce Brothers
- Paul Hayes Officer Crabb
- Nancy Mura Gina
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Andrea Savage
Jenny
- Mark Anthony LeGras Mark
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Dan Butler
Dr. Richards
-
Christopher Darga
Marvin the Clown
-
NiCole Robinson
Grace
-
Ellen Albertini Dow
Lily
-
Nancy Hower
Deb
- Sam Gifaldi Alex
-
Lindze Letherman
Faith
-
Nick Di Paolo
Jerome
-
Marian Mercer
Mrs. Richmond
-
Robert Morse
Uncle Bert
-
Ed Bernard
Officer Osgood
-
Julian Barnes
Edgar
-
Kristoff St. John
Patrick
- Samantha Torres Jill
- Andy Brewster Claude
- Cynthia Mann Sarah
- Patricia Hurd Kathleen Merrill
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Corey Padnos
Billy
-
Katelin Petersen
Tracy
- Neriah Davis Amy
-
Alex Meneses
Rosie
-
Fabiana Udenio
Charmaine
-
J.P. Manoux
Lukaro
- Nick DeMauro Manny
-
Enrique Murciano
Enrique
- E.J. De la Pena Gregory
-
Greg Pitts
Chuck
-
Tricia O'Kelley
Polly
- Blake Reed Mike
-
Len Cordova
Richard
-
Edith Varon
Nurse Rovak
- Jim Maniaci Adam
-
Paul Kreppel
Darryl
- John David Conti Charles
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Regan Burns
Jeff
-
Dwight Turner
Polyester
- Carlton Elizabeth Jeanine
-
Christopher Atkins
Tony
- Mark Volman Flo
- Howard Kaylan Eddie
-
Rachel Hunter
Meegan Garrity
-
Tim Bagley
Don
-
Martin Charles Warner
Izzy
- Daniel Murray Dan The Waiter
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Mindy Cohn
Cindy
-
Trie Donovan
Ida
- Tim Wrightman Victor
- Cullen Arroyo Benji
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Marcia Ann Burrs
Joyce the Maid
-
Arabella Field
Oxnard Stites
-
Annabelle Gurwitch
Yvette
- Mark Sweet Xander
-
Jamie Kaler
Sam
-
Warren Zevon
Warren Zevon
-
Shane Nickerson
Dave
-
Mark Steines
Eric
-
Mary Gillis
Irene
-
Aaron Paul
Zipper
- Eric Kinder Billy
-
Zack Hopkins
Landy
-
Spencer Klein
Jaron
-
Shia LaBeouf
Ritchie
-
Roy Jenkins
Kevin
-
Larry Sullivan
Daniel
- Cindy Margolis Cindy Margolis
-
Reggie Jackson
Reggie Jackson
-
Susan Chuang
Kim
-
Evgeniy Lazarev
Yuri
-
Ilia Volok
Viktor
-
Jim Jackman
Paul
-
Jordan Black
Lenny
-
Bryan Callen
Barry
-
James Lesure
David Gordon
-
Merrill Markoe
Miss Saunders
-
Jerry Lambert
Brent
-
Ralph Ahn
Mr. Norohito
- Nayiri Ishakian Hilda
-
Bill Idelson
Arthur
-
Ellen Greene
Harriet
- Philip Falcone Karl
-
T.J. Hoban
Kirk
-
Robert Alan Beuth
Howie
-
Teddy Lane Jr.
Robert
- Elizabeth Matthews Frances
- Darius Boorn Charlie
-
Kathryn Walker
Jenny
- V. Ray Bodie Tony
-
Larry Joe Campbell
Gus
- Tony Brock Rex
-
Robin Le Mesurier
Colin
- Tad Wadhams Nicky
-
Julieanne O'Connor
Esther
-
Heather Marie Marsden
Georgia
-
Robin McDonald
Sara
-
Telma Hopkins
Denise
-
Todd Susman
Dr. Siegal
- Mike Grief Vinny
- Alicia Hoge Joanie
-
Alex Draper
Mike
-
Keith Hamilton Cobb
Dr. Michael Bradstock
- Giuliana Santini Marcy
-
Nicole Sullivan
Claire
- Krystal Benn Allison
- Nicole Harlan Patti
-
Leif Garrett
Leif Garrett
-
Jerry Springer
Jerry Springer
-
Dario Franchitti
Dario Franchitti
-
Joel McCrary
Dale
- Judy Toll Wendy
-
Stephen DeRosa
Bryce
-
Marlon Young
Tom
-
Julia Sweeney
Rachel
- Angela Chittenden Paula
-
Sally Colon-Petree
Odelia
- Jessica A O'Sullivan Jessica
- Ray Rodriguez Ernesto
- Jason St. Johns Nossi
- Nathanael S. Wilson Fernando
