cast
-
Gudrun Ure
Supergran
-
Iain Cuthbertson
The Scunner Campbell
-
Bill Shine
Inventor Black
-
Alan Snell
Muscles
- Brian Lewis Muscles
-
Bill Mitchell
Reporter (voice)
- Terry Joyce P.C. Leekie / P.C. Rupert Leekie / PC Rupert Leekie
- Iam Towell Willard
- Lee Marshall Tub
- Samantha Duffy Edison
- Michael Graham Willard
- Jason Carrielies Tub
- Holly English Edison
- Gwen Doran Petunia Preston / Mrs. Petunia Preston
- Robert Austin Inspector Muggins
- Les Wilde Postman Pugh
- Hedley Dodd Ben
-
Derek Deadman
Clint
- Harry Herring I Squeezum / I. Squeezem
-
Brian Hogg
Referee
- Peter Sowerbutts PC Norman
-
Sheila Steafel
Lady Battenberg / Head of Gangster Guild (voice)
- Ben Holst Ben
-
Pat Coombs
Miz Witherspoon / Miss Wotherspoon
- Eddie Angel Fingers Fay / Editor, 'Gangsters Gazette'
-
Patrick Troughton
Great Sporran of the Isles
-
Michael Elphick
Roly Roofless
-
Billy Connolly
Angus McSporran
- Patsy Rowlands Lady Valerie Glutt
- Peggy Ann Clifford Baroness Glutt
- Clive Conway B.R. Official
- Shirley Winters Mrs Digby Day
- Christina D'Ambrosie Teacher
- Ralph Hawkes Museum Guard
-
George Best
Himself
-
Roy Kinnear
Cyril Small
- Michael McStay Vincent Eleven
- Jon Iles Gary Bootle
- George Orwin Norman Earnshaw
- Alan Hockey Bookie
- Geoff Capes Himself
-
Nick Stringer
Mad Mick
-
Andrew Forbes
Hon. Bertrand Battenberg / Robot
-
Irene Handl
Clinging Ivey
-
Tim Wylton
The Great Ronaldo
- Derry Power The Fabulous O'Finnegan
-
Burt Kwouk
Himself
- Mo Morland Tanya the Traffic Warden
-
Andrew Burt
Desperate Desmond
-
Marlene Sidaway
Miss Pinchpenny
- Bobby Pattinson Arnold Carter
- Alistair Pirrie Photographer
-
David Battley
Police Sergeant
- John Conteh Himself
-
Lulu
Isla St. Porridge
-
Mary Healey
Wanda
-
Damaris Hayman
Lady Chisleton
-
Johnny Shannon
Derek Morbid
-
Spike Milligan
Zoo Keeper
- Roy Evans Roland Rattray
- Gillian Remington Fag Ash Lil
- Art Davie Bin Man Bert
-
Ken Campbell
Unlucky Luciano
-
Mike Grady
Maxwell Grouse
-
Gary Glitter
Newcasle Brown
-
Daniel Peacock
Poly Roofless
-
Anne Orwin
Rosy Redlips
- Norma Day Edna Pugh
-
Bernard Cribbins
Officer P. Brain
-
Leslie Phillips
P.O.W.
-
Sue Lloyd
Hilda, Head of the Gangster's Guild
-
David Dixon
Woodrow Z. Loudermilk
- Ian Congdon Seymour P. Spender
-
Melvyn Hayes
P.C. Dumpling
-
Milton Johns
Mr. L. Chop
-
Charles Hawtrey
Clarence, Duke of Claridge
-
Gaye Brown
Madge, Duchess of Claridge
- Nichola McAuliffe Hatty the Hat Hatterley
- Peter De Dee Whispering Grass
- Alisa Norman Joan Joblot
- Peggy Shields Miss Read
-
Harry Fowler
Sid Scoundrel
- Simon Stravoscoufis Timothy Toff
- Marcus Hart Hesletine
- Nora Fulton Doris D. Lightful
- Rob Marston Umpire
-
Michael Medwin
Cecil Smarm
-
Eric Bristow
Self
- Dennis McIntosh Floor Manager
- Jean Southern Olga Volga
-
Kenneth Miller
Man from the Type Writer Shop
-
Joan Sims
Cat Burglar
-
Willie Thorne
Himself
-
James Cosmo
Mr. McBigg
-
Michael O'Hagan
Hot Shot Hoolahan
-
Murray Melvin
Neville Mince
-
Val McLane
Mavis Profit
- Peggy Gosschalk Empress Rita
-
John Otway
Hank G. Plucker
- Eddie Kidd Himself
- Suzy Coulson Dolly Cowpoke
-
John Bluthal
Inside Legg The Tailor
-
Tim Healy
Riff Raff
-
Barbara Windsor
Ethel
-
Anna Karen
Commander S. Obvious
